Last updated: October 4, 2023 at 14:49 pm
Farting is a perfectly natural function of the human body, releasing unnecessary gases so it does not build up and cause discomfort. On average, we fart between 5 and 15 times a day, although this can vary depending on what we’ve eaten, our digestive health and if we have any food intolerances.
It may be natural, but that doesn’t stop it from being embarrassing if we fart in public. Often, we’ll try to discretely and silently release the fart if a quick trip to a bathroom or empty room is not possible.
What happens if your farts are loud, and you can’t fart quietly?
IN THIS ARTICLE
What Determines a Fart’s Volume?
When you fart, vibrations are produced as the gas leaves. The type of noise depends on the tightness and shape of your anus as well as the speed with which it’s leaving your body.
The cause of the fart is also a factor. If the fart has been caused by your body breaking down food, then it is likely to be quieter. Unfortunately, if you’re hoping for it to go unnoticed, it’s also likely to be smellier. If your fart has been caused by you swallowing air as you eat, it will be louder but not smell as bad.
If you’re in public, it’s natural you might try to hold the fart in, but most of the time, it doesn’t work. All that happens is that the tightening of your anus makes the fart higher pitched and squeakier. Brass players use the same process with their lips to produce a higher note.
The only good thing about the fart being higher-pitched is that sounds with higher frequencies don’t travel as far as low-frequency ones. So, if you’re in a room with other people, but they’re not next to you, you could risk it and hope the noise doesn’t make it to them.
Ways To Quiet Your Farts
1) Look At Your Diet
If your farts are loud, a good first step is to try and reduce the number of them there are. Certain types of food produce more gas than others. You could try to reduce your intake of these foods and see if you fart less. Red meat and dairy take longer to digest and so produce more gas than other types of foods.
It’s also possible you could have an intolerance. Try paying attention to when you’re gassy and think about what you ate beforehand. If you suspect you may have an intolerance, it’s worth speaking to a doctor to get this diagnosis confirmed.
Finally, carbonated drinks and chewing gum can both give you a lot more gas. The pop is full of gas already, meaning some is likely to travel into your intestines. On the other hand, chewing gum means you are likely to ingest air while chewing. If you do either of these things regularly, then cutting back should decrease the number of times you need to fart.
Also read: How to Stop a Fart Making Noise (6 Ways)
2) Carry Wind Tablets
Many pharmaceutical companies make pills containing Simeticone. These pills are designed to dissipate large gas bubbles from forming in your intestines. Gas will still pass through your body, but as they are only small bubbles, they are unlikely to come out as farts.
If you know that you’ve been having wind problems recently, and you must go to work or somewhere else where you’ll be around others, then take these before you eat. They should also help you feel less bloated and keep you comfortable throughout the day.
If you find you need to take them frequently, consider speaking to a doctor to investigate the cause of your excess gas.
3) Muffle Them
If you’re in a room with soft furnishings like a sofa or upholstered chair, then they may be your salvation.
Just as soft furnishings absorb sound when you’re soundproofing a room, farting into a cushion will absorb a lot of the sound wave and mean far less noise is likely to escape. If you’re lucky, it will absorb some of the smell too.
4) Relax
As explained above, holding in your fart is likely to make it squeakier rather than stopping the noise altogether. If you feel a fart coming, the best thing to do is completely relax. Slow your breathing and try to completely relax all your muscles, particularly in the lower half of your body.
Because the fart is unimpeded, it should be released slowly and make less noise as a result. If you’re sitting on a padded chair, hopefully that will absorb any sound that does get out.
5) Open a Window
If you’ve been eating foods, you know are likely to smell, position yourself near the window or door if you can. This increases the airflow and allows the smell to leave the area.
Obviously, you will need to ask colleagues sitting nearby if they mind having the door or window open first. If they do, you’ll either need to make regular trips to the bathroom or try to release the fart quietly and hope for the best.
6) Massage
When you’re bloated, gently massaging your stomach can help dissipate trapped wind. In addition, there is a range of bends to perform at home or even in the toilets to help release the wind at a time of your choosing.
Child pose, happy baby pose, and forward folds can all help. If you’re feeling more energetic or are short of space, then squats can work wonders too.
Conclusion
Farting in public is embarrassing, and if you regularly have problems with excess wind, it can be stressful. Try to find out your triggers and reduce those types of foods, particularly if you know you’ll be in a confined space the next day. If you’re feeling extra bloated, try doing stretches to release the gas at home before you leave.
If you’ve tried all these things and still feel a fart coming, remember to relax and release it slowly to allow the minimum about of noise to escape.
